Best of Three States Plus One Weekend!

Here Fishy Fishy!

I am gonna take the weekend off. We have some great end of summer (for Maine) weather in store, so I am thinking about doing some fishing, that is if Arthur Effin Itis will allow me to. I hate that guy. He's literally a pain. :) I will not, however, leave you without your minimum daily requirement of my brilliant, insightful, award-worthy observations and musings incoherent ramblings. I have selected some of the most-read (I would say most popular, but that would be stretching it) posts from our archives. It's been a while since each one was posted, so if you're like me, old,decrepit and memory-challenged, it'll be like reading it for the very first time! The archives are loaded with other Shakespeare-esque second grade writing level articles that are easily found by using the "search box" in the top right-hand corner of each page. Make it a great weekend, amigos and remember : you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends nose. Unless he's a real close friend. 

Your Weekend Reading List :

• Texas Tidbits : Texas Freshwater Fisheries Center
• Maine Minutiae : The Greatest Mountain 
• Colorado Chronicles : The Ancient Ones 

 As always, if you have a suggestion for a post or idea to make this blog better, please let me know in the comment section of each post or email me at threestatesplusone AT gmail DOT com. Vaya con Dios y adios, amigos!

Maine Minutiae : It's Against the Law to....What?

In a Representative Republic such as the United States (we are not a democracy!), it is necessary, by definition, to have laws that dictate certain moral and societal norms to its citizens. For instance, you can't commit a brazen act of homicide without legal justification, i.e., self-defense. I'm a small
government kind of guy so, in my opinion, murder laws and precious few others are all the laws we need. I  am not here today to argue conservative vs. liberal, because I think that the dumbass laws listed below, we can all agree are real dumbass laws. And these are just the ones on the books in Maine! I am not sure if it's sad or just plain stupid to have these statutes on in our penal code. You decide.

Did you know that :

•  Right here in Augusta, as I sit at my desk writing this brilliant tome, it's against the law for me to walk through Downtown Augusta playing a fiddle? My dreams of being the next Charlie Daniels are shot to hell. Thanks, you dipsticks.
• In Biddeford, it's illegal to skateboard on the sidewalk and gamble at the airport. I'm sure that Vegas was nearly catatonic because the airport in Biddeford, Maine(!) was set to become the next gaming mecca in the US.
• Making plans to visit Freeport? See that you rent a first story hotel room because it's against a much-needed City Ordinance to spit out of a second story window. What about a third story window, nimrods?
• South Berwick must have something against local law enforcement. Why? It's against South Berwick law to park in front of Dunkin Donuts! My suggestion to SB cops is this: next time one of your town's governing geniuses needs you to chase away a burglar or assist them with some other civil complaint, tell those idiots you ain't gonna do it until they pony up the damn Dunkin Donuts! Just hide and watch how quick this cop-hating law gets disappeared.
• Here's a real doozy. Maine State Law compels you to take a shotgun to Church in case of an Indian attack. I got a question about this one, too. What if you attend an Indian Church? Is the shotgun obligatory or do you have to have a tomahawk in case of a white guy attack? Dumbasses.
• Portland, the biggest, and arguably most "enlightened" city in this state, prohibits anyone from tickling a girl under the chin with a feather duster. I guess a small paintbrush under a girl's chin is out of the question. Weenies.

• Just up I-95 from me, in Waterville, it's a big no-no to pick your nose  in public. Next thing ya know, you won't be able to scratch your ass in public there either. Frakkin killjoys! 

This tyranny must stop now! And I mean now! Yesterday! It's up to you, Mr. and Mrs. America! These power-hungry commies will stop at nothing to gain control over your life! Kick the bastards out of office! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to pick my nose.......and scratch my ass......but not in Waterville.

Texas Tidbits : Willie Asked Me to Do a Duet! Really.

The Red Headed Stranger

James Ott said to me in the comments of my post on Buddy Holly yesterday, " Just think what this country would be like without Texas. A ship without a rudder or engine!!!" James hit the proverbial nail on the head with that statement. We'd also be without one of the greatest recording artists, and I do mean artist, singer-songwriters, humanitarian and all around cool dude - Willie Hugh Nelson.  As I have mentioned in previous posts, I had the good fortune of spending some time with Willie after one of his shows in Wichita Falls about 30 years ago. It was a dark and stormy night...I mean, it was raining like hell that night as Willie and I led his band members to his bus for the interview. I was the first one on the bus, followed by Willie, who was followed by his lead guitar player, Jody Payne. As I stepped onto the the bus, Willie not so subtly asked, "Hey, Toby. You got a joint?" I wasn't exactly stunned. I replied, "No, Willie, I wish I did". No sooner had I answered Willie's question when Jody stepped on board and stated, "Don't worry, I got one". Hilarity and an interview ensued. When I asked Willie why he did so many duets, he told me that he just loved to sing, then he promptly invited me to record a duet with him! Funny thing is, I think he was dead serious. Or stoned. Or both. At the conclusion of our little pow wow, while saying our adios's, Willie gifted to me the leftovers of a partially smoked "tamale". This laid back guy is as real in person as he is on TV or in a movie. This is Willie Nelson for cryin' out loud. Willie wasn't always a superstar. He struggled for twenty years as a singer/songwriter in order to become an "overnight sensation". Willie has written some of the best-known country music classics ever : Hello Walls (Faron Young), Crazy (Patsy Cline), Funny How Time Slips Away (Billy Walker), Pretty Paper (Roy Orbison), Always On My Mind (Elvis & many others) Night Life (Ray Price), etc.,etc.,etc. The Red Headed Stranger is one of the most critically acclaimed albums in the history of music, period. Willie has sung with many country music legends including, Merle Haggard, George Jones, Hank Williams, Jr., Ray Price and his brother from another mother, Waylon. Besides being a prolific singer/songwriter, Willie has been in several feature films - The Electric Horseman, Barbarosa, Honeysuckle Rose and The Dukes of Hazzard. How many people do you know that would bail you out of a $16million debt to the I.R.S.? Of their own free will, without being asked? That's what friends of Willie did for him back in the 80's. I have a feeling that these folks knew that Willie would have done exactly the same thing for each and every one of them, if the need arose. There's enough material on Willie that I could write a book about it, so I'm sure I left plenty out of this short post. If you've got a Willie story, please share it in the comments. Now, Willie, about that duet.....

Another Blogging Milestone!

A Nice Round Number

A short time ago, Three States Plus One reached a goal that I thought would take a while longer to achieve. We have now recorded over 2500 Page Impressions on this blog! That is pretty amazing considering that what we do here is a "niche" kind of thing and it took just shy of two and a half months to do it. Your support in this, my first blogging endeavor, has been a real blessing to me. I shouldn't be surprised, though, because I know most of you who read my ramblings, and I knew some kind of support would be there from the beginning of this project. But the level of your dedication has truly overwhelmed me. I can not thank you enough for being a loyal reader and, in many cases, a great friend. I am, as always, humbled by your response to Three States Plus One. God bless you all.

Toby

Maine Minutiae : Famous Spider Writer

Famous Spider Writer

Hello. My name is Toby and I'm an info-holic. I love to read and to gather information on just about anything. As they say, luck favors a prepared mind. I don't read books very often at all, but I love to read articles from magazines and web sites. Having said that, I do remember my favorite book from when I was a kid. Hands down, without a shadow of a doubt and otherwise without reservation, it is Charlotte's Web by Eldwyn Brooks White. His homies just called him E. B. If memory serves me correctly, in the copy of  Charlotte's Web that I read in first grade, Charlotte died on page 163. Almost fifty years later, I still remember that. I'd read the book again if I had a copy of it. In 1939, E.B. White bought a farm in North Brooklin, Maine and preferred to spend as much time there as he could. White was a shy and modest man and once said in an interview that he "lives in a small coastal community on the East Coast somewhere between New Brunswick, Canada and Cuba." He relished his privacy that much. White had quite a varied resume. At one time or another he wrote for : The Cornell Daily Sun while attending Cornell University, Seattle Times, Seattle Post-Intelligencer and The New Yorker. Still, his best-known and most enduring work was that of a spider named Charlotte and a pig named Wilbur, written in 1952. As I write this post, in my mind's eye, I can envision that wise spider, Charlotte, weaving the message "some pig" into her silky web for all the world to see. Especially Wilbur. And millions of kids...like me. Odd, that. Almost a half century later, I still remember that. That and page 163. You know? I think I'll order Charlotte's Web for myself  for my two daughters and maybe fifty years from now, they, too, will remember "some pig" and page 163.

Texas Tidbits : A Guy Named Buddy

Lubbock has produced some pretty famous people over the years. Waylon Jennings comes to mind. Even though he was from nearby Littlefield, he made his name in Lubbock. There is only one name that jumps out at me when I think of famous folks from this West Texas city. You may have heard of this fellow - Charles Hardin Holley. Yes, Holley with an "e". Little did Ma and Pa Holley know that on that September 7 in 1936, the son whose birth they celebrated, would soon change American pop culture. Of course, young Charles went on to be one of the most famous and influential musicians of the 20th Century as Buddy Holly. A critic named Bruce Elder described Holly as "the single most influential creative force in early rock and roll". Holly's tenure as a superstar last less than two years, yet here we are almost sixty years later still recalling him and his music. I mean who over the age of 40 does not know at least some of the words to Peggy Sue? "Peggy...Peggy sue-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo". I wonder how many of you right now have this strong urge to go to YouTube and find that song. Stay put, I am at your service. Buddy Holly was a pioneer not only in his style of music, but also the production techniques he used, like overdubbing, to bring the song to life were equally ahead of their time. His insight and imagination were something one is born with, not something one learns. On February 3, 1959, Holly was at the pinnacle of his creative genius and singing career. After playing a show in Clear Lake, Iowa, Buddy boarded a plane bound for his next concert, along with Ritchie Valens and fellow Texan J.P. Richardson (The Big Bopper). They never made it. Waylon Jennings, then a member of Holly's band, the Crickets,  gave up his seat on that ill-fated flight to Richardson, who had the flu and didn't want to ride on the not-so-heated tour bus. That decision eventually reverberated through the country music scene, when Jennings went on to his own brand of super stardom. Febraury 3, 1959 was memorialized in the Don McLean classic, American Pie, as 'The Day the Music Died". Today, Buddy Holly would have been a couple of weeks away from his 74th birthday. Can you imagine the impact and innovation he would have brought to Rock and Roll over the last fifty years? Sadly, we'll never know. I do know this, however. The music did not die in that snow-covered Iowa cornfield when that plane went down on that frigid February night. It lives still. OK, you may go to YouTube and look up some Buddy Holly music now.

Dedicated to Reggie Robinson, R.I.P.

Colorado Chronicles : Honey, Can We Move Here?

I think I have died and gone to Heaven. Nope, I just pinched my self and I am definitely awake. I was questioning the state of my mental alertness because I discovered a place that is mighty close to being Heaven its own self and I ain't gonna rat the place out. Wait. That's what I do on this blog. Please disregard my previous statement. Meeker, Colorado. That's the place I was ready to keep all to myself. Can you blame me? Meeker is located in the fertile White River Valley in northwest Colorado, a little over 200 miles from Denver. Meeker's location is ideal for agriculture and that's exactly what the main industry of the area is - agriculture. I love to grow veggies, flowers and whatnot, so that's one point for Meeker. The town is situated near/on the White River. I read a piece on another site about the river in that area and people catch twenty inch trout there. Fish.Fear.Me.Especially.Twenty.Inch.Trout. That's two points for Meeker. It's also at the western end of the Flat Tops Trail Scenic Byway. Score another one for Meeker. That's three. Point number four for Meeker is its proximity to the 235,000 acre Flat Tops Wilderness Area. I could go on, but the four points above about the Town of Meeker have convinced me that you don't have to be in Paradise to experience a little Heaven.