Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Colorado Chronicles : Balloon Boy Family Moves to Florida!

It's been almost a year since we first heard about the "Balloon Boy" of Colorado. You remember the story - the kid's dumbass  Dad was trying to pitch a reality TV show and instead of a novel idea and good storyline to present to TV producers, this nimrod concocted a steaming pile of a story that involved his young son and a runaway hot air balloon in which the boy was supposedly a passenger! The dumbass Dad left out one itsy bitsy detail of the story - the boy was at home in the attic while God knows how many policemen and other law enforcement types were frantically trying to save this poor kid as he supposedly soared all over North Central Colorado in a runaway balloon at altitudes of up to 7000 feet!. Long story short, the dumbass Dad got busted and paid his debt to society and is now a registered felon. It seems the notoriety of being a dumbass Dad got to the guy, so he is packing up his family and moving to Florida! I am sure the good citizens of the Sunshine State are thrilled at the thought of having another famous dumbass move into their fine state. I' mean, hell, they've already had OJ Simpson (before he was convicted of some serious crime in Nevada, where hopefully he will a prison bitch to some Deliverance-looking redneck named Leon Bob). As you know, OJ spent many years scouring the ritzy golf course of South Florida looking for the "real killers". He was unsuccessful in his search because the stupid bastard never looked into a mirror. But, I digress. Now dumbass Dad will pursue other interests while dodging alligators and hanging chads in Florida. I wish Balloon Boy and the rest of his family well in their new home, but as for dumbass Dad, my advice is to stay away from the swamps and do not take your dog for a walk in gator-infested areas. Gators love the smell of Little FiFi. On second thought, a splash of eau de chihuahua might do you some good. Dumbass.

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