Learning About America, Three States Plus One at a Time
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Colorado Chronicles : A Modern Day Robin Hood
Robin Hood of Dumbass Forest
According to legend, Robin Hood of Sherwood Forest, was trying to rectify the disparity of economic circumstances by taking from the rich and giving to the poor. Where I come from, he's a thief and that needs to be rectified by throwing his ass in the slammer for about ten years, where he could discover the disparity between being a free man and a prison bitch. But, that's just the way I roll. Anyway, a guy in Denver actually named Robin Joshua Hood, was caught shoplifting, and now he's rectifying the disparity between dumbasses free to be dumbasses and dumbasses in prison. On top of being a thief, Hood stole another man's ID and used the victim's name to avoid incarceration on a warrant out of Denver for, wait.for.it., drug violations! Not only is Hood a shoplifter and ID thief, he's a dumbass with a drug habit! Hood was busted for shoplifting three baseball caps totaling about $45. Security personnel at Independent Records detained Hood when they caught him swiping the caps. The Denver Police were called and when Hood was searched by the cops, he was in possession of some hypodermic needles he freely confessed to using them for heroin! Let's recount some stuff here - Robin Joshua Hood is an ID thief, shoplifter, heroin user and a wanted man. That's a Criminal's Trifecta Plus One! What a guy! It's just a guess, but I'm thinking that the name "Robin" does not exactly cast fear into the hearts and minds of your average prison inmate. Some prisoners might find such a moniker "sexy" and will wanna play a game of "hide and seek" in "Sherwood Forest", if you know what I mean and I think you do. So, Robin, enjoy your stay in the Crossbar Hilton, I hope you make lots of friends in your new environs. One piece of advice before I go, Robin. Maintain a firm grip on the soap, old boy.