Monday, August 30, 2010

Maine Minutiae : Fall Approacheth, But the Heat is Hereth

Coming to a New England State Near You*
The family and I ran some errands this past weekend and I observed two things : 1) Some trees are already going from the greens of summer to the red to yellow to dead of the oncoming winter and 2) I can't take my little girls out in public without the urge to drop them off and leave them with the WalMart greeter. But! The WalMart greeters have done nothing wrong to me and they are, generally speaking, old enough to remember when McDonalds signs said "Over 3 Served". I would never inflict that kind of misery upon an old person, as I am nearing old personhood myself. I shall suffer in silence. :) Today is Augusta 30 and we are about to experience probably the longest stretch of "summer" that we've had this year in Augusta, Maine. Temps are going to "soar" to (Note to Texans: No laughing at what you are about to read) the low 90's! The average high temperature for this date is 76 degrees, the normal low, 55. As you can guess, many Mainers are torn between packing up their summer wardrobes and cursing this late summer heat wave. The Mainers I have come across lately are leaning towards the use of, as Mr. Spock says, "colorful metaphors". All I know is that some of the language I've heard lately regarding the hot weather would make Gordon Ramsey blush. And that's just from the women! At any rate, fall is on the way to New England, soon to be followed by you-know-what. I dare not say the word. I guess it's time to do some serious "quality control" on the local lakes, rivers, creeks and ponds. Fish.%$#@(&^.Fear.Me. Sorry, I picked up that "colorful metaphor" from the little old lady across the way. She is not, however, a WalMart greeter. And I really don't like her anyway. Hey, lady, want some kids?

*Photo from

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