Showing posts with label Dumbass. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dumbass. Show all posts

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Ten Years Later; Never Forget, Never Forgive

Heroes
WARNING: THIS POST IS FULL OF ADULT LANGUAGE. If you are easily offended, DO NOT READ THIS!. Consider your self warned.

Where were you when the world stopped turnin' that September day... I was at work and for some inexplicable reason, I was there about two hours early. I had already grabbed the Dallas Morning News and was reading the Sports section. With the TV at the bar tuned in to Fox News Channel, I just happened to look up and read the crawl across the bottom of the screen. The first plane had hit the North tower of the World Trade Center. My first thought was that the pilot of the jet had a heart attack or something. Then the second plane struck the South tower. It was at that point that I knew this was much more serious than someone having a heart attack. This was an attack OK, a cowardly attack on thousands of Americans, innocent people, just doing what they do every day, an attack on my country! The second that the plane blasted into the South tower, I knew it was an act of terrorism. The United States was effectively in a state of war. The worthless bastards that perpetrated this horrendous murder of almost 3000 American citizens had, by their actions, made it so. President George W. Bush made it all but official a short time later when he addressed the people of New York City that this was indeed an act of war. A few weeks later, we let those Islamic assholes in Afghanistan know that the United States of America meant business. That was when our President was a real man, unlike the pussy occupying the White House now. Hundreds of New Yorkers were killed on impact and dozens more decided it would be better to leap to their deaths than to be incinerated in the inferno of the WTC. The rage within me grew more intense with each innocent human being that was forced by the goat fucking Islamist sons of bitches to make a sudden die by fire or die by jumping out a window 1000 above the ground decision. My hatred for those pedophile "prophet" worshippers was boiling inside me like the towers that burned before me eyes. To this day, that feeling of hatred, pure fucking hatred for those cocksuckers simmers just below the surface. I hope God will forgive me some day, but I cannot yet bring myself to forgive those barbarians. These motherfuckers not only viciously murdered 3000 men and women, but they had forever changed the lives of tens of thousands more family members and friends of the dead, so I hope they all burn in hell for eternity. They are beyond redemption and deserve the endless torment of the fiery lake of Hades, so fuck them with the barbed cock of Satan, their true master. If that makes me a bigot, then so be it, I am a bigot. Their so called "holy book", the Koran, commands people (and I use that term loosely) like them to slaughter the Infidel simply because he/she is not a Muslim. The Koran compels them to do this kind of shit, like flying jets into buildings, so the name of Allah will be glorified. Are you fucking kidding me? From newadvent.org (The Catholic Encyclopedia) I found this:"The Koran contains dogma, legends, history, fiction, religion and superstition, social and family laws prayers, threats, liturgy, fanciful descriptions of heaven, hell, the judgment day, resurrection, etc. — a combination of fact and fancy often devoid of force and originality. The most creditable portions are those in which Jewish and Christian influences are clearly discernible." Legends, fiction and superstition, huh? Sounds like an Oliver Stone movie. I don't know about this Allah asshole, but the one true God that I worship tells me that I must treat others as I want to be treated, not to slay innocent human beings for not being a Christian in order to bring glory to God. As for the other billion plus idiots that follow this cult called Islam, if you believe the same absurd shit that the nineteen hijackers of 9/11 did, then I have no use for you either. You are breathing my air, so stay the fuck away from me. I will not discriminate against you, but I want nothing to do with your sorry asses until you repudiate Islam and the violence and bigotry inherent to it. Until then, kiss my ass. Islam is not a religion, it is an ideology. A political ideology.True religions dictate that you show kindness, mercy, compassion and charity to your fellow man, not slice his head off for merely being a non-Muslim. True religions call for forgiveness of our transgressors, not the brutal stoning or hanging of someone who "offends" your twisted view of spirituality and worship of whatever you assholes worship, like that stupid fucking rock in Mecca or whichever God-forsaken third world sewer of a city you call Muslim "civilization". Defending your "religion" is one thing, but the wholesale murder of innocent men, women and children to show the rest of the world that they are "infidels" is beyond repulsive, it is degrading to God and his children. Americans don't cotton to the kind of vile behavior you proclaim in the name of Allah and we will not stand still for that kind of shit! We will slap a missile from a Predator drone up your worthless asses and not think twice about it. You asked for war, then dammit we'll give a fucking war, dickweeds. When we kick the slimy America-hating, steaming pile of camel dung that we call a President out of the White House and get a man or woman that loves this country like the average Citizen does, you'd better have more than Allah to protect your sorry souls, because there will be no place to hide. We will show no mercy in tracking you down like the pigs you are and ask you exactly once if you want to surrender. If your answer is "no", then we will happily and without giving it a second thought to it, dispatch you to the 72 virgins you so naively believe to be waiting for you in "Paradise".  We have sent our sons, fathers, daughters and even mothers to find and kill you bastards. Thousands of them gave their lives so the United States will be free of murderous lunatics like you, and thousands more volunteer every day to pick up where the fallen left off. America is not afraid of you. We stand vigilant, eyes and ears wide open, so we may detect you and will do whatever is needed to stop you before you commit more atrocities against our Citizens. We ain't scared, assholes. You may succeed in your homicidal mission from time to time, but rest assured, the every day American you seek to intimidate, will not cower to you and your deadly intentions. We will, however, happily and with extreme prejudice blow your evil carcass to Kingdom Come when it becomes necessary to the plot. We, as Americans, owe that much to the 3000 innocents you killed at the World Trade Center and to the thousands of our young men and women who perished in the line of duty when sent to defend the United States from deranged motherfuckers like you. In the words of Todd Beamer, a passenger on Flight 93, which crashed in a Pennsylvania, "Let's roll". Simply put, send your soul to Heaven because your asses are ours. AMF - Adios Mother Fuckers, have a nice day. I will never forget nor will I ever forgive!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

A Carefree Dumbass Saturday

Typical Dumbass***
It's a beautiful autumn Saturday here in New England and the whole family is busy doing what we do on such a magnificent day. Heather is in the kitchen making gingerbread (which neither of the kids have had before), the girls are outside making a large pile of leaves suffice as a mattress and I am at my laptop looking out the back windows watching the blue jays, dove, cardinals and chickadees battle for a corner booth at the bird feeder. It hasn't snowed here yet, which is a little surprising to me. But soon enough I'll be telling you about the Nor'easter that blew through and dumped a couple of feet of snow on us. this will be Bailey the Three Year Old's first winter where she'll actually know what snow is all about. That should be a hoot.

Here's a bit of news for you: I am putting together another blog! On it, I'll be writing about whatever crosses my mind, probably about life and the way I see it. No matter the subject, you'll continue to get the type of crap insightful and brilliant commentary that makes you sick to your stomach   you've come to loathe expect from me. On the new blog, I highly encourage you to participate in the comment section. I know you have a lot to say, and all points of view no matter how stupid are welcome. I am still in the design phase of the new place and I hope to have it up and running by Monday. Stay tuned.

I think for this weekend I'll feature some dumbass stories to keep you bored to hell entertained.
  • Let's start with this one about a guy named Leon who ran afoul of the law in Waco, Texas. Let me tell you this. A guy named Leon gettin' busted in Waco will not end up good for Leon. Just sayin'.
  • I don't know about you, but when I hear of a story that involves a a crook and a riding lawnmower, I can almost feel the hilarity that will ensue.
  • This is one of the first stories I posted on my other blog Dumbass News. It features the Wide World of Dumbass Sports and how they can improve your marriage. Hey, I aim to please. 
That lineup of dumbasses ought to keep you nauseous busy for a while. Enjoy them and rejoice in the fact that no matter what you do in life, there's always a bigger dumbass than you. 

***mugshot from The Smoking Gun***

Monday, September 20, 2010

Three States Extra! A Blog is Born


A Home for Dumbasses
I am very happy to announce to the world (or at least to you and the other guy who reads this stuff) that my newest failure to be blog, Dumbass News, makes its who gives a damn much-anticipated debut today! I have written something really lame an introduction post to that gives you the Cliff's Notes version of what the deal is. I'll have an honest-to-goodness Dumbass News story up later today that will that'll make your chin hit the floor when you read it, especially if you are married or are in a committed relationship. It's that stupid. I guarantee that you'll laugh, cry and wonder why the heck you clicked the link to the story, which is the purpose of the link anyway. I think it's only fair to warn you before you click over, that Dumbass News makes liberal use of "colorful metaphors" (cussin') and may not be safe for work or kids or those who are offended by such language. If I had to rate the site like they do movies, Dumbass News would be rated PG-13, R at worst. In my dumbass professional opinion, it's pretty damn funny, too. But then again, I wrote it and I'd lie like a cheap rug in order to get a few blog hits. Click on over and have a look and let me know what you think.If nothing else, we'll have a boatload of fun. I'll see you there!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Plus One : Christmas Comes Early! Or Not.

I have some sickening exciting news for you today! I am putting together another blog! There is a reason for this. I find myself at times drifting away from the original purpose of Three States Plus One, to the point where it was morphing into a whole other animal. Add to that the fact that I wanted a bit more "flexibility" to cover more material and be able to add some more "me" to the posts. As you may have noticed (clearing throat), I have some pretty strong opinions on life and the issues that it entails, and I feel like I could better express those opinions in a bit more "open" format. You'll also note that I have leaned a bit more towards what I call "Dumbass News", like this or this. Posting "Dumbass News" is all well and good but I'd like to keep the content on Three States as close to its format as possible. That doesn't mean that the occasional "dumbass post" will ride off into the sunset, it just means I am gonna try to refrain from posting them so often. HOWEVER, the new blog will cover all sorts of "dumbass topics", like stupid news (the guy who found a rocket launcher in his garden), some political dumbassery (anything about liberals) and just every day ordinary dumbass-itis. I feel that in the new format, I can cut loose a little more and air my thoughts on just about anything. I want Three States to still be a place you visit and I'll work my ass off to keep it a place you want to visit. The new place will be more of  no-holds-barred atmosphere, where I can, maybe, make you laugh out loud, provoke you to think, and get you (or somebody) mad as hell. That's the way I roll. I also have a surprise for you. Close your eyes. Now open them. Surprise!!! A sneak peek at the new place!!! Remember, the new joint is still under construction and won't be ready for launch until Monday, I hope. There are no posts up yet, just the makings of a Home Page, but it looks pretty cool. Let me know what you think in the comment section here on Three States or on Facebook. I am not averse to criticism or new ideas, so lay it on me! If I can get the new site up and running before Monday, I'll be sure to post about it on Facebook, Twitter, Buzz, etc. Stay tuned!!! And Merry Christmas. Kind of.

Thanks,
Toby

Monday, September 13, 2010

Texas Tidbits : A Heartwarming Story

Dumbass*
It's a Blue Monday and to time leave behind a great weekend of football for the trudgery of work. I feel for you, so I thought it would be a good time to bring you some news that will undoubtedly brighten your day. Better still, if you get down in the mouth or bored at the job, you can always return to this page, read this story once (or twice) more and, like magic, you will be uplifted all over again! Let's shake off those Monday blues with this item guaranteed to bring a smile to your otherwise I-look-like-I-just-found-out-that-my-wife-threw-away-a-winning-SuperLotto-ticket-worth-$60-million face. Onward and upward we go. :
  • Our inspirational tale comes to us from Waco. For those of you who are not familiar with Waco, it is a very conservative town. Waco is home to Baylor University, the oldest university in Texas, and Baylor is a Baptist college, i.e., Waco is a very conservative city. Knowing this is true, to me at least, means that if you ever have to go through the criminal justice system, chances are that the jury of your peers hearing your case would be made up of very conservative (read: law and order types) people. To not realize this fact, you would have to be a dumbass. Leon Willis Wilkerson, 55, is a dumbass of the highest order. I mean this guy was beat with the Dumbass Stick. A lot. Here's why : Leon has been through courts in McClennan County before - to the tune of twelve(!) misdemeanors and eight felonies! But, wait! There's more! Our new friend Leon is a smoker. He was jonesing for a butt so bad, he stole a carton of cigarettes from a local store in Waco and got busted. This time, Leon's journey through the legal system ended quite badly for him. Ol' Leon ran into a jury of nice, conservative Baptists and those 12 people were nice enough to slap Mr. Wilkerson with 99 years in prison! For a carton of smokes! How dare they! Oh, wait. There were those eight other pesky felonies and twelve misdemeanors Leon had racked up. Being the nice, conservative Baptist people that they are, they determined Leon to be a habitual criminal - hence 99 years in the slammer. That's 9.9 years per pack of Newports there, Leon.  I have a sneaky feeling that Leon will be smoking in prison, but it won't be Newports, if you know what I mean and I think you do. Dumbass.
This little anecdote should be your inspiration to have a great Monday. Your boss may suck, you may be extremely tired or you could be suffering from allergies or something, but things could be worse. You could be Leon. And Leon is a dumbass.

*From KDFW-TV, Dallas



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