Texas Tidbits: Fiesta San Antonio, The Party With a Purpose!

If you've read this blog for any length of time, you know that I have a love affair with San Antonio. That love for the Alamo City gets even stronger today with the news I am about to present to you.

It's time for Fiesta San Antonio! Check out the video and get a glimpse of what it's all about, then we'll get back to the story. 

2011 marks the 120th Year of Fiesta San Antonio, which, if my Public School math serves me right, means Fiesta "started in 1891 as a one-parade event and has evolved today into one of this nation’s premier festivals with more than 100 events and an economic impact of almost $284 million for the city." Fiesta started out as a way to remember the heroes who fought (and died) at the Alamo and San Jacinto. The history of Fiesta is very interesting and it just so happens that I have a link that tells the story of Fiesta.

There are a hundred events that make up Fiesta San Antonio, so there is something that will please every member of your family. The Home Page for Fiesta San Antonio has a slide show that highlights the events that will take place during Fiesta San Antonio.

Fiesta is a phenomenal celebration of so many great things and people that have made Texas in general and San Antonio in particular, what they are today. If I were to be able to attend Fiesta 2011, I'd go for the food alone. Lord have mercy!

You'll find a ton of information at the links in the story. Fiesta San Antonio 2011 starts in a few days and continues on for ten more, so make travel plans and secure hotel reservations ASAP. The San Antonio Convention and Visitors Bureau can help you organize your trip for Fiesta.

It's gonna be a magnificent event or, as Fiesta is sometimes called, a Party with a Purpose. ¡Viva Fiesta San Antonio!

Texas Tidbits: Central Texas and Glass Bottom Boats

Glass Bottom Boat for Shark-hunting and Spongebob Spotting

I don't know how I could have been writing on this blog for five months now, (five months?...wow!) and not mention once one of my fondest child hood memories. It involved traveling south on I-35 to Austin, San Antonio and San Marcos. I can't recall what we did in Austin, but I think we went to the Capitol Building, which was real cool for a kid my age. I was maybe 6 or 7 at the time. In San Antonio, we of course, went to the Alamo. I still remember being that most sacred of Texas monuments and replaying the Battle of the Alamo, probably recalled from the John Wayne movie about the battle. In my little boy mind, I was Davy Crockett, fighting off the attacking Mexican soldiers with Old Betsy, my trusted long rifle. Bang! I shot one of the bad guys. Smack! A rifle butt to the chops! Davy (me) saves the day! Then reality sets in when my Dad calls me over to look at another exhibit in the mission. From the Alamo went up to San Marcos to visit something called "Aquarena Springs". I wasn't very enthused by having leave the Alamo before Davy Crockett (me) could save the day, but this was my fate. Aquarena Springs it was. I quickly changed my mind when I discovered that the boat we were getting ready to board, had a glass bottom! From Davy Crockett, I was now a miniature Jacque Cousteau, exploring the crystal clear waters of the San Marcos River. Through that galass bottom I could see all manner of fish, soft shell turtles, giant squid and man-eating sharks! I made up the part about sharks and giant squid, but a kid can pretend, can't he? That glass bottom boat was one of the best things I have ever seen in my life! I almost forgot about the diving pig! They put a pig on a diving platform way up in the air and a pig actually dived off of it! Way frakkin' cool. Here it is, almost fifty years later, and I remember that boat ride like it was yesterday, giant squid, sharks and all.  :) My family and I are tryin' like hell to get a trip to Texas to fit into our summer plans next year. Maybe my two little girls will see the magic in that glass bottom boat that I saw on that summer day so long ago. I get this sneaky feeling that Bailey the 3 year old will say something like, "Daddy, I just saw SpongeBob!" And that will probably be her memory of the glass bottom boat fifty years from now. I know I'll believe it. After all, I saw that giant squid and those man-eating sharks.

Texas Tidbits : W. C. Fields Escapes Zoo!

I Need Directions from San Antonio to Santa Cruz*

We welcome another Humpday with Texas news that you probably haven't heard about. Why haven't you heard about it? Because our Lame Stream Media is too busy kissing President Obama's ass to report on real news. By real news I mean Dumbass News. Now that I think about it, Dumbass News and reporting on the current occupant of the White House are one and the same. But, I digress. Since I have a nose like a blood hound for Dumbass News, and I have done some dumbass stuff that would make Dumbass News blush (again I digress), I feel compelled to share it with you, fellow citizen. It's gonna be very difficult to "out dumbass" the 52% of voters who cast their ballots for our Disaster in Chief  (more digression), but I shall give it the old college try. Please remember 52% ers, that I say that with love in my heart. So awaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy we go!

• Dumbass News - In San Antonio, W.C. Fields has escaped! No, not this W.C. Fields, but W.C. Fields the spider monkey. It seems that Tropical Storm Hermine did some damage to the San Antonio Zoo. Some of said damage occurred at the ape exhibit at the zoo. That's where W.C. (the monkey, not the guy) comes in. The storm tore up the wire enclosure that housed the monkey and he did what all good spider monkeys do when they get a Get Out of Monkey Jail Free Card, he ran like hell! Now, back to the word "wire" in the previous sentence. Wire? For a monkey cage? Really? What dumbass thought this was a good way to secure a frakkin' monkey? Does he (or she) not realize that even the smallest of monkeys are stronger than Hulk Hogan? Wire? Honestly? Did the idea of , I dunno, say, metal bars not cross someone's mind? Or, even better, put the damn monkey INSIDE the ape house! A real building! I am nearly 100% positive that the good folks at SA Zoo had ample warning that a Tropical Storm was on the way and I'm equally certain that they could have come up with a better plan to see that monkeys, apes and  in-laws were securely housed during the onslaught of Hermine. The last I heard (I am not making this up), W.C. was still on the monkey lam and had at one point chased a lady into her garage and kept her there for over an hour. W.C. must look a lot like her ex-husband. Or my in-laws.

There is plenty more Dumbass News to report on but I don't think it's a good idea to overdose you on dumbass today. I will, however, give you a hint of more dumbassery to come : there's a shop in Santa Cruz, California that is selling ice cream, not with chocolate chips or nuts or sprinkles, but with marijuana mixed in ...wait...for...it...for medical purposes! This is a brilliant marketing ploy! A guy walks in the shop and orders a pot-sicle, pays and returns in about an hour and guess what? The dude has the munchies! He then proceeds to order the 31 other flavors for dessert! Boom! The Ice Cream Guy will be wealthy beyond his wildest dreams! Until the gubmint shuts him down. Or until W.C. the monkey tries one or two of the banana cream pot-sicles. At that point the Ice Cream Guy had better find a garage to hide in. But, I digress.

*Photo from National Geographic