Texas Tidbits: Lake Texoma

Lake Texoma. 89,000 acres of some of the best fishin' anywhere. If you're on the lookout for largemouth, white, striped or smallmouth bass, there are some real wall-hangers awaiting you at Texoma. Let's not forget crappie, catfish and the 70 other species of fish that inhabit these waters. Allow me to put you some knowledge with the water body records for the Big T. Fish fry, anyone? At laketexoma.com, we find this: "The lake area includes two wildlife refuges, two state parks, fifty four U.S. Army Corps of Engineers-managed parks, twenty-six resorts, hundreds of campgrounds and a variety of excellent golf courses". What the hell am I doing in Maine? (just kiddin', honey.....kinda) If you've got a boat, a secluded fishin'/camping trip is as close as one of the many islands located throughout the lake. The fishing license regulations at Lake Texoma are a little goofy, but as Wikipedia tells us " Historically, Texas and Oklahoma have not had a reciprocal fishing license agreement, which has posed a problem for anglers. Recent boundary resolutions have given Oklahoma jurisdiction over most of the fishing in Lake Texoma. An Oklahoma fishing license allows fishing most of the lake, up to within 400 yards (370 m) of Denison Dam. To fish the entire lake, a Lake Texoma fishing license is also available." Be sure to check with Texas or Oklahoma wildlife officers to get the right info for you. As at any major lake in Texas, the weekends at Texoma are, shall we say, busy? Although with 89,000 acres of fishin' available, you could probably find some place to hang out without too much of a crowd.

A Letter to Dad - October 6, 1938 - June 5, 2004 UPDATED (scroll down)

Dad, Debbie, Adam & Sara - 1995

Dear Dad....it's hard to believe that it's already been seven years since you've "gone Home". It seems like it was just yesterday that we were hanging out at Dale's Company BBQ. All those people there and it was just you and me talking father to son. While you are no longer here to lend your wisdom to me in person, I hear you speaking to me in my heart all the time. The advice is much needed and much welcomed.

Although I am now 54 years old, I understand that I am always gonna be the 8lb 12 oz bundle of "goofball" that you were so proud of in 1956. And, Dad, I am still proud of you and honored to be your son. I didn't tell you this enough when you were alive, but you were a good Dad and a good man.

I miss the Sunday drives we used to take to where ever the wind took us...places like Tintop, Lake Benbrook, Lake Worth or to the Fort Worth Zoo to catch catfish or slide down that big ass hill on a piece of cardboard. I miss watching you work on the cars and have them running like new in just a little while. I also enjoyed the stories you'd tell me when I was a kid about where your run was for this time. Dad, after you being on the road for over 40 years, those stories are fresh in my mind today and I've tried to make those same runs over the years and I've done pretty damn good at it, too.

I guess I'd better close for now, Dad, but before I go, do you remember when you, Grandpa and I used to go trolling for anything that would hit a yellow and black HellBender? Those are times seared in my memory, never-to-be forgotten. Good times. Dads and sons times. Best of times.

I miss you, Dad. And I love you. Adios til next time.

UPDATE: My Dad loved old cars. When I went outside a while ago there was a Frakkin' Cherry '65 Chevy Pick  Up in the parking lot. It just happened to be there. Dad, I know you liked seeing that.I did, too. :)

Re-visiting a Nightmare

I chose to repost this particular article because the Time of Doom draws nigh once again. The Annual Visit With My Mother-in-Law. I have to get myself mentally prepared for this "event". This story recounts an old visit with the battle Axe and I'll have a new episode when the next visit is unavoidable gets closer to reality.

A couple of days ago I wrote about impending doom a much overdue visit from my Mother-in-Law. As it turns out, there is a God!!!!, she had to postpone her trip by the Grace of The Almighty  due to car trouble. This turn of events caused  me to do cartwheels my wife great sadness and despair. I thought I was safe from all that is evil and wrong with the world. I.Was.Wrong. My weekend of sloth and gluttony has turned into The Weekend From Hell. I know you married guys are wondering, "How could a nice weekend of sloth and gluttony turn into a weekend from hell, when your Mother-in-Law is 200 miles away having car trouble and can't come to torture and degrade you visit?" Let me 'splain. Although I'm happier than a stoned fat kid at a McDonald's all you can eat buffet saddened my M-I-L can't make it, a fate worse than paying alimony to an ex-wife that married a plastic surgeon has befallen me. I.Have.To.Go.Back.To.School.Shopping.! But wait! There's more! I am (or should be) committed... to attend a baby shower! Don't get me wrong, as a father of four (ages 3-31, God help me), I love kids, I really do (especially with a little salt and mustard....rimshot). But, less than a month before my 54th birthday, I thought my days of going to baby showers were over! At least until my own daughters had babies. But my wife threatened me with unspeakable acts of violence asked me nicely to go, so I said OK. Upon further review, I never thought I'd miss my Mother-in-Law, but I do. Go figure. Anyway...posting will be sporadic, at best, today for the previously mentioned reasons. Rummage through the archives because there's lots of stuff in there and I'm sure you'll find something that'll make you say to yourself, "That's 10 minutes of my life I'll never get back". But it's Friday, what a better way to kill time at work than to read some worthless drivel potential Pulitzer Prize-winning social commentary? Here are a few of my popular posts from the recent past:

•  Texas Tidbits : Fort Worth - Ah Luv Yew
• Plus One :Tennessee - The Volunteer State 
• Maine Minutiae : Fat Guy Convention, Sardine Drop, Bingo & Ed McMahon
• Colorado Chronicles : Colorado Springs

Texas Tidbits; How to Raise Missile Launchers in Your Vegetable Garden

I am a gardener. I grow stuff - tomatoes, peppers, squash, you name it, I've probably grown it or tried to grow it. Gardening is something I learned from Grandma Shoemaker as a young child. I was fascinated that one day she would put a tiny seed in the ground and a few weeks later BAM!, there was a tomato! Even now, in my mid-50's, that little boy of the early 1960's shows up every time I spot a new blossom on a tomato plant or some such. Wow! That's gonna be a (fill-in-the-vegetable-name-here)! And I think of Grandma. The secret to a productive garden is good dirt, so preparation is key to a bountiful harvest. And let me tell you, while tilling up the ground for a garden, you are liable to find almost anything - nails, rocks, silverware, coins, old bottles, missile launchers....missile launchers??? Yep, there's nothing like digging up discarded military explosive devices to get a bang out of gardening. That's exactly what happened to 34 year old Jarrette Schule of Comal County near San Antonio. From the article, "Schule spent Tuesday afternoon calling the FBI, Homeland Security, the Sheriff’s Department — every agency he could think of. He was stuck in a bureaucratic limbo.
“Everyone was handing it off to everybody else,” Schule said. And some people want more government? This guy found this missile launcher on a Tuesday, made all the right phone calls to all the right people and nobody seemed to care! WTF? This tale does have a happy (and safe) ending, however. The next day, Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio was kind enough to send an ordinance disposal team to pick up the military hardware and do whatever they do with rogue missile launchers found by civilians while preparing some land for a garden. I don't know about you, but a few questions come to mind regarding this peculiar situation. Questions like...where were the local cops? Dunkin Donuts? What about Homeland Security? Were they too busy at the airport frisking nuns and 90 year old women who pose a threat to our national security? And the FBI? I hear they were deep undercover at the Glenn Beck 8/28 Rally looking for right-wing extremists carrying homemade signs that "Obama is a Kenyan". Don't get me wrong, I'm not raggin' on law enforcement here, their job is tough enough as it is. I love the guys and gals in blue and the Feds, but c'mon folks. One of the higher ups in one of these agencies should have had a passing thought like, "This old boy in Comal County found a missile launcher while digging up his garden and maybe, just maybe, there's an element of danger to him and the general public. Finkelstein! Get somebody out there pronto!" But, all's well that ends well, I suppose. Excuse me while I go get my dirt ready for next year's garden. I might dig up Osama Bin Laden.

Texas Tidbits: A Fishing Place for Everyone

The Texas Freshwater Fisheries Center is an $18 million facility located in Athens dedicated to the conservation and education about fish and fisheries in the State of Texas. Although TFFC is operated by Texas Parks and Wildlife Department, it was built without State Funds ( that alone is reason enough to love the place). From the TFFC website : "TFFC houses a hatchery, laboratory, aquarium, and education center focusing on underwater wildlife in the state’s freshwater streams, ponds and lakes. It serves as home base for the ShareLunker program, which invites anglers to donate trophy-sized largemouth bass for research and breeding purposes. Annual visitation is more than 60,000. A third of our visitors attend with school and youth groups".


See that photo up there  ^^^? That's a 26,000 gallon aquarium in the theatre at TFFC. As you can see, that's a full-grown man in scuba gear in there feeding the fish. He's wired for sound and is able to take questions from visitors about the aquarium in particular or TFFC in general. I have seen this on several occasions and it's a very informative program. This huge fish tank is home to several species of piscatorial species, including (at the time I was there) a large mouth bass estimated to weigh 24+ pounds and a blue catfish at an estimated 44 pounds ! To top that off, this catfish was blind as a bat due to cataracts (true, but pun intended). Also on the property are a snack bar, gift shop and a pond that is stocked with rainbow trout during the winter and year-round with catfish. Rod and reels and bait are provided free of charge. The on-site museum is an awesome part of the facility with interactive displays and fishin' gear from days gone by. For more info, you can contact TFFC here.
The Texas Freshwater Fisheries Center is a must see not only for fishermen, but for the education they provide about fish habitat, etc, and how to conserve and protect these beautiful assets for all Texans.

Texas Tidbits: Nice Guns She's Got There

Nice Guns She's Got There

• Midland - The Sheriff's Department of Midland County sounds like a great place to work. The "perks" are really cool...til you get caught. It seems that five of Midland's finest were enjoying a little fellowship and discussing pressing law enforcement issues at an establishment named "Twin Peaks". I don't don't know about you, but as a bachelor and man of the world for most of my adult life (until I met Heather), when a place of business is named "Twin Peaks", two things leap to mind. Mountains or scantily clad young women. Being that this episode took place in Midland, mountains are ruled out immediately. That leaves what's behind door number two : scanitly clad young women. Having said that, the name of a place alone is not necessarily an indication of what kind of business it is. However, and that's a big however, when the business' motto is “fun, friendly and sometimes flirty atmosphere!”, red flags (and scantily clad young women) go up like they were shot out of a thirty-aught-six. The scenario : These five cops were having a couple of beers at Twin Peaks. They befriended one of the scantily clad young women who works there and one of the Men in Blue invited the scantily clad young woman outside for a few snapshots. Nothing good could come from that. Even I have never been so inebriated as to do such a dumabass thing, plenty of other dumbass things but nothing this dumbass. Anyway, as if taking this girl outside for a few pictures isn't dumbass enough, one of the cops gives her an AK-47 AR-15! (thanks to anonymous in the comments for the correction-Toby) to pose with on his squad car! Epic.Fail. The High Sheriff of Midland County failed to see the humor in this little incident and took appropriate disciplinary action against the officers. In all this skullduggery and debauchery (and harmless law enforcement fun), there is a two word moral to the story for the gentlemen involved : Dunkin. Donuts.

There's your heart-warming human interest story for this week. Be sure to tune in next week when we'll have a blockbuster of a tale when the Midland Sheriff's Department spurns the lure of the scantily clad young women at Twin Peaks and opt for buffalo wings, beer and scantily clad young women at Hooters. You don't wanna miss it!

Plus One: Three for One!

Looking for Spare Change

Well, it looks like life over for most of today and so did my new friend Arthur. You may know Arthur, his last name is Itis. Arthur Itis. We went grocery shopping today at Super Wal Mart and it took a while longer than I had anticipated. With my wife recently adopting a healthier lifestyle, it's very important to know what is in the food we buy. She read the labels on EVERY DAMN THING in the grocery department. It would have been faster to read War and Peace. I guess what I'm trying to say in a roundabout way is that I am tired and my buddy Arthur is killin' me.
I have picked out some popular posts from the past for your perusal.

• Texas Tidbits : McDonald Obsevatory
• Maine Minutiae : The Gretest Mountain 
• Colorado Chronicles : Central City

For our newer readers, it'll give you a chance to catch up on what you've and for the Old Timers, maybe you can read something you missed the first time through. Thanks to you all for visiting and we'll see you manana. Adios, y'all.